6.16.2009

The Great (Hair) Debate - Part II For the Perm

Yes, I love my natural, but

I don't love that...


- I can't make my hair look "different" very quickly. Any style takes a long time to do. ( Please note how it looks the same in all the formal events from the last post. Below is a formal event in my perm days.)


- People assume you are confident or mysterious when you have natural hair. (This is both a like and a dislike - more so a dislike when people want to touch your hair.

- The times I have tried to straighten my naptural hair often turn into a nightmare from the 80's. (Please see evidence of this below.)



- Sometimes my hair is just plain unruly.



- People comment that my naptural is not "doctor hair".



- I miss my swingy, flowy hair when I had a perm and....
- The fiance likes straight hair better. (Call me silly, but who doesn't want to look their best for their man?)


Now, the debate is not whether or not I should wear it straight for the wedding. But how should I get it to the straight state? A press that might turn into a frizzball in July Houston heat? Or chemicals that I'll have to keep up for a loooong time?
What would you do?

13 comments:

Brynne said...

I am in the process of transitioning (or at least I think I am - it's only been about 3 months, and I still might change my mind), but I don't think getting a perm is worth it, and I wish I hadn't done it when I was 18. As far as the wedding, I kept my hair pressed for about 8 years in the GA humidity, but TX might be another story. Another alternative? Maybe a weave for the wedding, so you have a temporary fix and won't have to worry about frizz.

AphiQprincess said...

I completely know what you mean, I have been natural for almost 2 years and now I am having reservations about what to do for my wedding day. My mom asked me the other day about getting a perm, but just 6 mos ago she was talking about how she likes that I dont put chemicals in. Plus my FI is just like yours always wants me to make it straight, but that cost just as much money. Ah the woes of a natural bride :)

Kelly said...

Okay. My two cents. Stay natural. My advice is to find a dominican salon-Yesterday! Those ladies do our hair better than we do. Trust me. Google round brush or dominican salons. Whatever you decide, you will be beautiful! He won't even notice your hairon that day. He'll only see you.........

Kelly said...

Oh yeah! Check out afrobella.com. A great natural blogger. She does mostly beauty, but check her archives for natural info.

Brynne said...

I'm gonna have to disagree - living in NY, there are a lot of Dominican salons. You'll come out looking very nice, but the excessive heat they use, b/w the hotter-than-normal bonnet dryer for the roller-set, the hotter-than-normal blow-out and the flat iron is VERY damaging. For example, I went there in December, and it came out looking shiny and beautiful, but the next month, it was broken off, uneven, and in need of a cut. Part of the problem is the one size fits all approach they take to black hair.

Jc said...

I'm quite sad to read the 'doctor' hair comment. I am a scientist and I am natural. My sister is a medical doctor and she is natural. Your hair is professional provided your brain is professional.

I think your hair is as versatile as you make it. Humidity will always be an issue for wearing natural hair straight. I think the best solution is to wear an updo where most of your hair is pinned up.

I definitely think that if you want to relax your hair, don't do it because of the wedding (plus your fiance is still marrying you with your natural, so I don't think it is really about him!). I don't ever encourage relaxing but I do think if you have made a clear and well thought out reason why you should relax your hair, then by all means do your research and do what pleases you.

Naturally Leslie said...

When I got married I flat ironed my hair. If I had it to do again I would have worn it curly in some way. Back then, I thought a formal events called for straight hair. That was because my mind still saw my natural hair as ok for every day but not good enough for my wedding. We are so brainwashed as a people about our physical selves. Think really hard about then let it go. Do what feels right but don't sell your natural beauty short! Re-program your thinking! :)

Moni said...

I'm all for keeping it curly. Some of my best formal styles have been since I went natural, and it will definitely be in a natural style when I get married. As Leslie said, natural hair can definitely be formal. Plus, your hair will probably be the last thing on your fiance's mind when he sees you walking down that aisle looking gorgeous!

Talesa said...

I dont think relaxed hair = broken off hair, because there are many people with horrible natural hair that is very broken off.pressed hair and houston weather = disaster in the making , either stay completely natural or go for a perm! i def dont agree with the your fiance wont notice your hair, im his sister and find that to be very untrue he likes long straight hair!!you must find a good beautician if you choose to perm your hair however there are many sites online that have these beauticians listed. stay away from excessive heat such as flat ironing every day, and go for wrapping your hair!your wedding day is very important and if your hair looks a mess , it could spoil your day and your pictures!! and you will constantly be worried about it through out the day

zoliepup said...

Oh... I'm disappointed. I understand wanting straight hair, but I think your hair is so great natural!

My future cousin in law had like 18 inch long dreads, and just cut them off for her rotations. (They were heavy and hard to keep back while she was examining patients) She's natural and I think she looks perfectly professional. I think it's up to strong women to change the perception that natural hair isn't professional.

Whatever you decide, you are going to look beautiful... so do what makes you happy!

Anonymous said...

Hola DDP! You know I had to comment on the hair..because i SO SO SO feel you. Natural hair is beautiful but it takes MORE work than a perm and I must confess that at times when I see girls walking with their flowing hair, I want mine back. BUT, I'm hanging in there because... I don't know I'm just hanging in there. I think you should try to press it for the big day. I got a press by someone and my hair looked great..then I made the mistake of thinking that everyone who claims to know how to press would be able to to it like that. I had 2 other people press me after that first lady and it looks HORRIBLE! I repeat, HORRIBLE! So maybe you haven't found the right person to press your hair. If you think it's really your hair and not the technique, I would go with the perm. The good thing about having gone natural is that you can go back (natural) if you ever want to because you already know you're not afraid to rock short hair. I love you chica and I'm looking forward to your big day :-) Y

renise b said...

If your only reason to get a perm is b/c your fiance prefers long stright hair, that is not a good reason. If you have dug a little deeper within yourself and make the decision based on how you feel while taking his feelings into consideration then you're doing it the right way. There are a lot of natural styles available for weddings and other formal events. You need only to look for them. IF you decide to perm, I would suggest looking into a technique called Texlax or Telax. There are a few different ways to do it but it essentially makes the perm less harsh by allowing your hair to retain texture as opposed to making it bone straight.

Brynne said...

So, what did you decide to do with the hair? I saw the pics on FB, and whatever was done, you looked marvelous. Loved the dress too. Congrats and Best Wishes!