Keeping Sane

I'm not really sure why weddings cause so much trouble for couples. You'd think that planning the event that unites you together would be something that would spark up romance every time it came up.

But it doesn't work that way.

Most ladies want everything to go smoothly and be beautiful. Most men wouldn't care if they got married at a truck stop. And this my friends, causes tension.

Mr. Man and I have been blessed in that we have made it a habit to keep any disagreements about the actual disagreement. When we aren't on the same page, we start looking back a the book together instead of attacking each other. I'm praying that this habit lasts forever. Or at least that if it goes away we have enough of Him in us to forgive.

When we just can't agree, I know I tend to ask two questions 1) how important is this in the grand scheme of things? and 2) what is the real purpose or goal that we are trying to accomplish?

That tends to keep things in perspective.

One tip I'd give to brides-to-be is to limit your wedding planning to some sort of space as much as possible (e.g. the living room, via telephone, etc). Mr. Man and I get our best work done when we split up the tasks via email or text and then just update each other when they are done.

Then, when we are together, we can take on the world, instead of each other.



I'm super thankful to have a loving, patient and kind soon-to-be husband. I hope he knows how much I love him.

What other tips keep you and your boo from taking out stress on each other?

My Bridal Portraits

I apologize in advance if you think I am going to let you see what my dress looks like three weeks before the wedding. :)

It was a total blessing to stumble upon our photographer, Billie Roche . She's relatively new to the business, but she's talented. It took some serious talent to make an overworked medical student and a tired computer programmer look like this in engagement photos!

We had blast taking bridal portraits, and they were everything I ever wanted - edgy, fun, sophisticated, even silly.

But they weren't "portraity". (If that is a real concept/word.)

I recently learned that displaying a bridal portrait at the wedding reception is actually only traditionally done in a few southern states like Florida, Texas and Georgia. A sorority sister from Detroit was like "why did you take pre-pictures two months before your wedding?". Apparently they are a regional thing.

But now that I've got my edgy, fun, sophisticated (regional) pictures, what in the world do I display at the reception?

I could crop one of the more scenic ones to make it "portraity"...



...or do something silly/sexy/edgy....

What would you do? "Portraity"? Silly? Sexy? Edgy?

The Honeymoon Wishlist

Question: What is a perfect distraction from wedding tasks?

Answer: honeymoon screen shopping (like window shopping only from your laptop)

The Le Sac Dress at American Apparel
which can be worn in way more ways than I'm shown below...






A white bikini from Victoria's Secret
because what other time is more appropriate for a white bikini?


A straw hat from Target
because it's hard to see your honey when it's sunny...


A lightweight cardigan from Forever 21
in case it gets chilly at night...



This dress from Forever 21
for shopping when we want a break from the beach...



One more maxi dress
for good measure...



...and finally some leopard rhumba shorts.
Because if you can't wear these on your honeymoon, where can you wear them?


What else should I pack?

Stress? What stress?

It's not that I'm super busy 25 days before the wedding. It's more so that I feel like I should be doing things and I'm not sure what they are or in what order to begin them.

The major stress is coming from the guests. Besides all the family issues that rear their ugly heads at weddings, many of my beautiful Black friends and family members have what I call a SARS-VP or Severe Allery to RSVP's. Literally, some people have said to me "oh, you wanted me to RSVP?". In my head I'm thinking, "no, I just made personalized RSVP cards to waste paper". Ok. Enough of my rant. But really, it's as if Mr. Man and I prepared an expensive dinner for you and you were like "oh, I'm too busy to take the time to tell you if I'm coming or not."

And then, there are those people that saw the invisible ink on the invitations that read, "please tap me while I'm on my way to the bathroom at church and let me know you are coming." I'm trying to beef up my memory skills for med school, but I just can't remember what all the people we invited will be doing at noon on our wedding day.

But then there are the guests who send back cards promptly with random and fun comments or quotes! These people remind me that there are gracious guests in the world.

Really though, besides stressing out over who's coming and who's not, what else should I be doing in these last 25 days. Here's what I got so far....

- finish programs (stayed up until 3AM working on them last night...sigh.)
- make sure hostess gifts are packaged pretty (Wide Eyed Mom is helping!)
- make sure card box gets finished (Wide Eyed Brother is helping!)
- find baskets for favors (Wide Eyed Maid of Honor finished them all!)
- go over layout and schedule with venue and planner
- get ribbon to the bakery
- get inserts to the linen people
- transportation (Mr. Man is on this one!)
- pack and organize wedding stuff and honeymoon stuff
- vow folders
- signage
- email/call photographer about "must take shots" and bridal/engagement portrait
- find text/specifics for a special ceremony portion
- assemble emergency kit
- write out duties for wedding party to be handed out at rehearsal lunch
- finalize make-up and a couple of other appointments

What else could I do now to make the day go more smoothly?

The Great (Hair) Debate - Part II For the Perm

Yes, I love my natural, but

I don't love that...

- I can't make my hair look "different" very quickly. Any style takes a long time to do. ( Please note how it looks the same in all the formal events from the last post. Below is a formal event in my perm days.)


- People assume you are confident or mysterious when you have natural hair. (This is both a like and a dislike - more so a dislike when people want to touch your hair.

- The times I have tried to straighten my naptural hair often turn into a nightmare from the 80's. (Please see evidence of this below.)



- Sometimes my hair is just plain unruly.



- People comment that my naptural is not "doctor hair".



- I miss my swingy, flowy hair when I had a perm and....
- The fiance likes straight hair better. (Call me silly, but who doesn't want to look their best for their man?)


Now, the debate is not whether or not I should wear it straight for the wedding. But how should I get it to the straight state? A press that might turn into a frizzball in July Houston heat? Or chemicals that I'll have to keep up for a loooong time?

What would you do?

The Great (Hair) Debate Part I - For The Naptural

I've only been natural for two years. At first, I was fiercely anti-perm + pro-natural. Now that I realize, "hey its just hair", I've been considering a relaxer. Don't get me wrong, I love my natural.

I love that...

- I can strike up conversations with women about hair just based on the fact that I'm natural.

- People assume you are confident or mysterious when you have natural hair.

- I get to display one of the awesome things that makes Black people special.

- I have the option to straighten my hair if I want to.

- I can workout and swim or run in the rain without some silly cap or paper bag over my hair.

- I can laugh at all the times my family told me I had bad hair.

- It doesn't require that much daily maintenance (important for a med school student)AND I don't have to depend on paying someone regularly to relax it.

- My hair has its own personality.

- I can avoid the unhealthy breakage a perm can cause.

See the photo evidence below for permed breakage and then naptural healthiness..





..




Check back tomorrow for Part II - For the Perm!

Bridal Shower - Dallas Edition

My ring bearer's mommy and future sister-in-law threw me a super-fun shower in Dallas.
The shower had a tropical theme and despite some craziness in the beginning,
it turned out to be super fun.

Hostess With the Mostess #1

Hostess With the Mostess #2

Tiffany!

Business as per usual.

Mommy and the Girls

Cheese!

One of my many adopted moms

I got a very special gift from my niece and some sweet things from by best girlfriends.
Mostly though, I enjoyed the thoughtful advice and awesome company.

These are the times you thank God for putting awesome people in your life.

Sweet, Isn't It?

Isn't it sweet?
Congratulations and blessings to Chuck and Whitney!

photos by Mary Catherine Penn

Our DIY Invitations

I hope all the guests have opened them!

I Said We Moving On Up...

Mr. Man and I finally found an apartment! We won't move in together until after the big day, but I'm trying to figure out how to make this whole thing easier i.e. not come home from the honeymoon with a million boxes in our living room and needing to find something random to pack for our mission trip the next week

Here's what I got so far:

- get rid of a million things
- slowly bring over things like clothes, dishes and books prior to the actual big "move-in" date
- have the (free!) movers move all the big stuff one week before the wedding
- try to pack my mission trip stuff prior to the move
- transfer all the services at my place to the new place before the wedding e.g. electricity, DirectTV/DirectTV in Texas
- watch Golden Girls via DirectTV because I have no school and I can!
- not freak out


anh. moving is whack.

any tips to make the move smooth?